My Crunchy House

Jill Uncategorized 14 Comments

Photo courtesy of Morgue File.

My house is crunchy. This is my all-encompassing word for syrup-covered tables, floors that need to be mopped/vacuumed, and inches of dust on most things. I’m having a couple of mom friends over in the morning for coffee. (This is an introvert’s version of a party.) So, we are picking up around here. When we pick up at our house, the kids ALWAYS ask who’s coming over. Proud moment for me.

Anyway, I have this one friend—I won’t mention names. (Cristy Ross) She is the neatest person EVER. The first time I walked into her house, I said “I need to go home and paint and clean.” Not only is her house spotless, it’s so stinking cute. Her style is great. Vintage-thrift store-painted-wonderfulness. All things I love. I am not even sure why we are friends. She’s annoyingly great. But I digress… Anyway, as I was wiping the bathroom counter for the first time in days/weeks/months, I saw a candle on the counter covered in dust. It made me laugh. I gave a half-hearted attempt to wash it off. Then I walked into the kitchen and saw the fingerprints all over my microwave and I was like, GAH! Yuck! CR is never going to be okay with this. She’s going to come in here and start wiping things down. What if she has a mixture of bleach-cleaning solution in her purse? Then I saw a couple of things on the carpet and thought, I should vacuum! Instead, I picked those up with my hands.

So, in honor of my messy house, I’m listing the top five things I am not doing (that I wish I was)
1. Mopping
2. Vacuuming (yes, mentioned above, but deserves a double mention)
3. Laundry. Random, but my washing machine is actually broken. This is truth.
4. Dusting (I’m not sure I own a dust thingie)
5. Cleaning any rooms beyond what people will see. (Note: Do not open guest bedroom door or my bedroom door)

The moral of this story? I’m not even sure. I only know this: My house will still be crunchy tomorrow, and my friends will love me anyway. Isn’t that the greatest gift? And instead of cleaning, I sat down and wrote a blog post about it.

What’s the thing you don’t do, that you should do, but you don’t care about?

Comments 14

  1. Wow.
    When I stayed at your place, it was spotless and I felt like SUCH a loser, because I never clean. AND if I clean, my kids always want to know who’s coming over.

    So in light of this post, and how freakingly perfect your house was when I came?

    Thank you. From the bottom of my Not Being Sarcastic right Now heart.

    Thank you.

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      1. No, I’m dead serious! It’s a huge thing to ask to stay at someone’s home, and if you were coming here, I’d be going bonkers trying to Martha this place up to be worthy of you!

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  2. Why do you think I got a cat? Allergies are the perfect excuse to never have company and, therefore, never have to clean ever, ever again. 😉

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      Ha! Well, S is allergic to cats. So I’m not sure I can make that one work here. 🙂 But I like that thinking! 🙂

  3. As a woman who got sick (and stayed sick) while preparing for an enormous graduation party and the descent of a ba-jillion relatives, THANK YOU! Once the party starts, who’s going to notice my house anyway! Most important, though is that this time is about my daughter and her accomplishments, not my lack of accomplishment as a housekeeper.

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  4. Jill, You’re just too cute and special for anyone to care what your house looks like. Plus, a slightly messy home creates comfort for most normal people…that’s what I believe. In Malawi our house was always a wreck and I would apologize to our kids’ friends when they came over, but most of them said they preferred our house to their own. I suspect the PEOPLE in the house are much more enjoyable than the MESS anyway. (By the way, I like your definition of an introvert’s party.) 🙂

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  5. Jill, this is hilarious. I like to think of myself as a cleaner, but I do the minimum. Sometimes that’s the bane of being a perfectionist. It’s just too overwhelming and you know you’ll never get it all clean, so why try? Though I’m a duster, I’m always finding dust in places I never knew got dusty. Thankfully I have a small house!

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  6. Jill, enjoyed your stories. made me laugh. Question, don’t you have an appliance repair business? Maybe you could get someone to come over to fix your washing machine. haha

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